Time to Say Goodbye

Today at 2PM, Scott and I had to let Presley go. She had been in so much pain, especially this past week, and I truly believe she was ready to go.

We made the decision a couple days ago because she had fallen down a couple times and was in so much pain that she didn't want to sit or lay down. She'd only lay down after pacing for hours on end and exhausting herself.

Last night in the early evening, we helped Presley lay down on her bed that we brought into the living room. To help her, we stood a large flat board up on end along with her bed in front of it. Then we positioned her parallel to the bed and tipped her on her side as we slowly lowered the board and bed to the ground. It was very gentle and she never yelped or struggled.

We put a blanket on her and Scott gave all the girls a special bone. Presley looked very content as she munched on her bone and watched a movie with us. She slept on and off during the movie, but looked really comfortable the entire time.

After the movie, we all moved to the bedroom where she sat down and watched me as I brushed my teeth in the bathroom. I was so surprised to see her sit because she hadn't sat in weeks because of the pain in her rear left leg. She slowly lowered herself to the ground and fell fast asleep.

She slept very soundly last night for the first time in months. She only got up once to go potty. After I helped her get back onto her bed by holding it up next to her and tipping her and the bed to the ground, I didn't hear another a peep out of her. I tossed and turned for the next few hours, but she had a very restful and peaceful night sleep.

This morning I took her with me in the Jeep to run some errands. I bought her a cheddar cheese bagel and fed her little pieces as we drove around listening to music and enjoying the sunny springlike day. We visited with my mom, Christine and Amanda. Then we visited with Steve (Daddy). Then we went home to hang out with Scott, Diesel and Bristol.

While at home, she rested on her bed but she never really fell asleep. She seemed a little anxious. Diesel laid close to her and Bristol kept trying to kiss her face, but she growled to shoo her away.

Just a few minutes before it was time to leave for the vet, Diesel and Bristol sort of swarmed around her, sniffing and kissing her the whole time. It only lasted a few seconds but it was really strange, as if they were saying goodbye in their own special way.

A few minutes before two, we left the younger girls in the backyard and headed to the vet. After Scott lifted her out of the van, she made a beeline for the front door of the vet's office. Once inside, she went over to the scale (she knows the drill). She weighed in at about 74 pounds.

Then the receptionist opened the door that leads to the examination rooms and Presley made another beeline for the exam room. Once inside the room, she ran right over to the garbage basket but I stopped her before she could grab anything from inside the basket.

As we waited for the doctor, she hid for a bit under the table, bumping her head a couple times. Then came over to stand next to me and gave me one kiss as I scratched and rubbed her. When she had enough of that, she hopped over to where Scott was standing on the other side of the room.

Then the receptionist came in and asked us which type of container we wanted for Presley's ashes. Steve is going to get her ashes; I really don't want them. After we picked a container, the doctor and the vet tech came in.

We chatted with Dr. Georgiev for a few minutes, explaining to her why we felt it was time for Presley to go. Then Dr. G explained the procedure and I broke down crying. I told everyone in the room that I didn't think I could stay in the room. Then Presley came over to me and sat down next to me, which was pretty amazing because she hadn't really sat in weeks.

With her by my side, I was able to gain my composure. Scott lifted Presley up onto the table and Dr. G and the vet tech helped to get her settled laying down on her side. Scott and I cradled her head and talked to her, as Dr. G inserted the pink liquid into her vein.

Within a few seconds, everything went still. Her eyes stayed open, even though I kept trying to close them. Dr. G listened for her heartbeat and declared that she was gone. After Dr. G and the vet tech left the room, Scott and I hugged and cried for a few minutes.

We turned to Presley one more time. Her body was still warm but slowly her paws were getting cold and her eyes were glassy and empty. She had a little twitch in her lip. I lifted her gums to see her teeth, which showed some decay because we had stopped brushing her teeth regularly. We even touched her nails, which she would never let us do. We both gave her butt a quick scratch one more time and we left the room.

Although I miss her terribly and I'm in a bit of shock that she's gone, I also have a sense of relief. To watch her health decline so quickly was hanging over my head this whole time. At first I tried to ignore the signs, hoping her pain would magically go away. I kept thinking that if she stopped eating or couldn't get up to go potty, that would be the sign.

But when the pain just kept getting worse and we had maxed out the dosage on her pain meds, it was becoming obvious that the time had come. Thankfully Scott was able to keep a level head and make all of the arrangements with the doctor. He had actually contacted the doctor before I was able to say the words. I kept thinking it but I just couldn't bring myself to say that it was time.

These past months have been a long journey. From the diagnosis and amputation, through recovery and up until the end, Presley was very brave and very strong. And she always watched over me, like a furry little angel, as she always had everyday for the past 10 years.

We had tried everything we could to fight the cancer and then to make her comfortable. When we could no longer help her, we knew it was time to say goodbye.

Message from Grammy

When Grammy lived in Michigan, she babysat Presley on many occasions when I was busy with work. Grammy sent me this email the other day that makes me laugh when I read it...


Hi Michelle and PRESLEY,
Just keep smiling, like you always did. Even when I
babysat with you and you did something that I didn't
like, you would just stop when I told you to, and
turn and look at me and just smile. That was so I
wouldn't ball you out, and it worked.

LOVE, GRAMMY

Play Play Play

No matter how uncomfortable Presley might be, she doesn't hesitate to have fun. Yesterday she chased after Diesel in the yard and she barked at Harley through the fence. Her tail didn't stop moving the whole time we were out there.

And tonight she was at it again. We played a couple rounds of "Hunt It Up" where I hide a toy in another room and when I give the command, the girls race into the room to find the toy. Usually Diesel is the first to find the toy, but tonight Presley beat everyone. She was so proud of herself that she wouldn't let that toy go!

Jerry G Dawg is right. Play play play.

Still Smiling

While I was out of town this week, Scott reported that Presley threw up all over the living room and bedroom on Wednesday night. The vomit was mostly liquid and smelled like a pot roast gone bad. It took him several types of carpet cleaner and odor neutralizers to finally get rid of the smell. I came home on Saturday and thankfully couldn't smell anything.

Presley has been in a little more pain recently, so we've increased her pain meds. She especially has trouble laying down and getting up. She won't sit anymore and when she stands, she tries to take her weight off of her left rear leg. So she's balancing on her two right legs.

The amazing part is that she is still smiling and still wants to play. In fact, she's looking at me right now with her big Rottweiler smile. And last night we played fetch with a new toy from Aunt Stephanie. She outran her sisters several times to get to the toy first.

We really appreciate everyone's phone calls and emails. I have been passing along all of your well wishes to Presley Bear. It's amazing how many lives she has touched in her 10 short years here on Earth.

Today while I was blow drying my hair, this picture of Presley kept falling off the shelf. It's a picture of her when she was just a few months old laying at the top of the steps. She was really afraid of going down those steps at first. Yet she would sit at the top of the landing and push her toy down the steps, then whine because she wanted me to go get it for her. She has always been very smart and very cute.

She only weighed 5 pounds when we first brought her home. She nows weighs 74.6 pounds. At one point when she was about 3 or 4, she had been overweight and weighed over 100 pounds.

Bristol weighs 76.6. We're not sure what Diesel weighs, but I think Presley is now the lightest of the three girls. Presley seems really skinny, especially in her waist. I've tried at times to give her a little more food, but sometimes she leaves some of it in her bowl.

This whole situation is so unfair. All I keep saying to Presley is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that she's had to go through all of this pain. But through it all, she is still smiling.

Not Good

We received some bad news today at Presley's doctor visit. The cancer appears to have spread to her other limbs and there are nodules in her chest.

The doctor showed us the x-rays and there are dark spots in the bone on her front right leg near her shoulder and on her rear left leg near her knee. The doctor also believes that the hard lumps near her left hip and thigh are also cancerous tumors. They are too hard to be just fatty tumors.

The x-rays also showed cloudiness and spots in her lungs compared to her chest x-rays taken in November.

The doctors and research all said that if we did not treat Presley with chemo after surgery that her life expectancy would be another 6 months on average. It's been almost 5 months since her surgery and the doctor thinks she may have another 3 to 4 weeks, based on what she's seen in other dogs.

Since Presley did so poorly on Deramaxx and Rhimadyl to treat pain, the doctor prescribed Tramadol with Pepcid AC. She also prescribed Medcam, as needed.

She also recommended that we consider Pamidronate Disodium I/V drip (a biophosphonate) because it could slow the growth of the tumors. The drip takes two hours per session to administer and they recommend doing this once a month. I'm leaning against this because everything we've tried with Presley has made her sick and I'm not sure she could take getting sick again.

They also took blood, which we'll have the results for that tomorrow. They want to check her kidney values in case we decide to go through with the drip.

The doctor mentioned that we could try acupuncture to treat the pain, but it didn't help before when we thought we were treating her for arthritis, so I can't imagine it would do any good now.

The crazy part about this is that Presley still eats really well and she still wants to play. Even today she played with a new ball we bought over the weekend.

No matter what, I just want to make sure she is comfortable. As long as she is eating, eliminating properly and enjoying life, then we'll keep treating the pain until something changes.

Sore Leg

Presley has been favoring her left rear leg lately. She's been at her Daddy's house this weekend and he called yesterday to let me know that he is very concerned. She has been hiding behind the chair and trying not to put any weight on her leg at all.

(However, he does let her up on the couch and he has been taking her for walks. She could be a little sore from all the activity.)

I made an appointment for tomorrow at 4PM at OVRS. We started to give Presley some Deramaxx to ease her pain, but that's not a good long-term solution. Last time it made her throw up and eventually she developed bloody stool.

She's still eating very well and wants to play. We just need to find out what is causing all this pain in her rear leg. She has two hard lumps there in her thigh and hip. Maybe those are the culprit and perhaps a bit of arthritis.

Snow Fun

This weekend we spent quite a bit of time outside playing in the snow and ice. The sun was shining so brightly, but it was a little deceiving. It was still really cold. But the girls didn't seem to notice.

Presley loves to eat the snow. I always joke to her, "Don't eat the yellow snow." I don't think she gets it.