Time to Say Goodbye

Today at 2PM, Scott and I had to let Presley go. She had been in so much pain, especially this past week, and I truly believe she was ready to go.

We made the decision a couple days ago because she had fallen down a couple times and was in so much pain that she didn't want to sit or lay down. She'd only lay down after pacing for hours on end and exhausting herself.

Last night in the early evening, we helped Presley lay down on her bed that we brought into the living room. To help her, we stood a large flat board up on end along with her bed in front of it. Then we positioned her parallel to the bed and tipped her on her side as we slowly lowered the board and bed to the ground. It was very gentle and she never yelped or struggled.

We put a blanket on her and Scott gave all the girls a special bone. Presley looked very content as she munched on her bone and watched a movie with us. She slept on and off during the movie, but looked really comfortable the entire time.

After the movie, we all moved to the bedroom where she sat down and watched me as I brushed my teeth in the bathroom. I was so surprised to see her sit because she hadn't sat in weeks because of the pain in her rear left leg. She slowly lowered herself to the ground and fell fast asleep.

She slept very soundly last night for the first time in months. She only got up once to go potty. After I helped her get back onto her bed by holding it up next to her and tipping her and the bed to the ground, I didn't hear another a peep out of her. I tossed and turned for the next few hours, but she had a very restful and peaceful night sleep.

This morning I took her with me in the Jeep to run some errands. I bought her a cheddar cheese bagel and fed her little pieces as we drove around listening to music and enjoying the sunny springlike day. We visited with my mom, Christine and Amanda. Then we visited with Steve (Daddy). Then we went home to hang out with Scott, Diesel and Bristol.

While at home, she rested on her bed but she never really fell asleep. She seemed a little anxious. Diesel laid close to her and Bristol kept trying to kiss her face, but she growled to shoo her away.

Just a few minutes before it was time to leave for the vet, Diesel and Bristol sort of swarmed around her, sniffing and kissing her the whole time. It only lasted a few seconds but it was really strange, as if they were saying goodbye in their own special way.

A few minutes before two, we left the younger girls in the backyard and headed to the vet. After Scott lifted her out of the van, she made a beeline for the front door of the vet's office. Once inside, she went over to the scale (she knows the drill). She weighed in at about 74 pounds.

Then the receptionist opened the door that leads to the examination rooms and Presley made another beeline for the exam room. Once inside the room, she ran right over to the garbage basket but I stopped her before she could grab anything from inside the basket.

As we waited for the doctor, she hid for a bit under the table, bumping her head a couple times. Then came over to stand next to me and gave me one kiss as I scratched and rubbed her. When she had enough of that, she hopped over to where Scott was standing on the other side of the room.

Then the receptionist came in and asked us which type of container we wanted for Presley's ashes. Steve is going to get her ashes; I really don't want them. After we picked a container, the doctor and the vet tech came in.

We chatted with Dr. Georgiev for a few minutes, explaining to her why we felt it was time for Presley to go. Then Dr. G explained the procedure and I broke down crying. I told everyone in the room that I didn't think I could stay in the room. Then Presley came over to me and sat down next to me, which was pretty amazing because she hadn't really sat in weeks.

With her by my side, I was able to gain my composure. Scott lifted Presley up onto the table and Dr. G and the vet tech helped to get her settled laying down on her side. Scott and I cradled her head and talked to her, as Dr. G inserted the pink liquid into her vein.

Within a few seconds, everything went still. Her eyes stayed open, even though I kept trying to close them. Dr. G listened for her heartbeat and declared that she was gone. After Dr. G and the vet tech left the room, Scott and I hugged and cried for a few minutes.

We turned to Presley one more time. Her body was still warm but slowly her paws were getting cold and her eyes were glassy and empty. She had a little twitch in her lip. I lifted her gums to see her teeth, which showed some decay because we had stopped brushing her teeth regularly. We even touched her nails, which she would never let us do. We both gave her butt a quick scratch one more time and we left the room.

Although I miss her terribly and I'm in a bit of shock that she's gone, I also have a sense of relief. To watch her health decline so quickly was hanging over my head this whole time. At first I tried to ignore the signs, hoping her pain would magically go away. I kept thinking that if she stopped eating or couldn't get up to go potty, that would be the sign.

But when the pain just kept getting worse and we had maxed out the dosage on her pain meds, it was becoming obvious that the time had come. Thankfully Scott was able to keep a level head and make all of the arrangements with the doctor. He had actually contacted the doctor before I was able to say the words. I kept thinking it but I just couldn't bring myself to say that it was time.

These past months have been a long journey. From the diagnosis and amputation, through recovery and up until the end, Presley was very brave and very strong. And she always watched over me, like a furry little angel, as she always had everyday for the past 10 years.

We had tried everything we could to fight the cancer and then to make her comfortable. When we could no longer help her, we knew it was time to say goodbye.

Message from Grammy

When Grammy lived in Michigan, she babysat Presley on many occasions when I was busy with work. Grammy sent me this email the other day that makes me laugh when I read it...


Hi Michelle and PRESLEY,
Just keep smiling, like you always did. Even when I
babysat with you and you did something that I didn't
like, you would just stop when I told you to, and
turn and look at me and just smile. That was so I
wouldn't ball you out, and it worked.

LOVE, GRAMMY

Play Play Play

No matter how uncomfortable Presley might be, she doesn't hesitate to have fun. Yesterday she chased after Diesel in the yard and she barked at Harley through the fence. Her tail didn't stop moving the whole time we were out there.

And tonight she was at it again. We played a couple rounds of "Hunt It Up" where I hide a toy in another room and when I give the command, the girls race into the room to find the toy. Usually Diesel is the first to find the toy, but tonight Presley beat everyone. She was so proud of herself that she wouldn't let that toy go!

Jerry G Dawg is right. Play play play.

Still Smiling

While I was out of town this week, Scott reported that Presley threw up all over the living room and bedroom on Wednesday night. The vomit was mostly liquid and smelled like a pot roast gone bad. It took him several types of carpet cleaner and odor neutralizers to finally get rid of the smell. I came home on Saturday and thankfully couldn't smell anything.

Presley has been in a little more pain recently, so we've increased her pain meds. She especially has trouble laying down and getting up. She won't sit anymore and when she stands, she tries to take her weight off of her left rear leg. So she's balancing on her two right legs.

The amazing part is that she is still smiling and still wants to play. In fact, she's looking at me right now with her big Rottweiler smile. And last night we played fetch with a new toy from Aunt Stephanie. She outran her sisters several times to get to the toy first.

We really appreciate everyone's phone calls and emails. I have been passing along all of your well wishes to Presley Bear. It's amazing how many lives she has touched in her 10 short years here on Earth.

Today while I was blow drying my hair, this picture of Presley kept falling off the shelf. It's a picture of her when she was just a few months old laying at the top of the steps. She was really afraid of going down those steps at first. Yet she would sit at the top of the landing and push her toy down the steps, then whine because she wanted me to go get it for her. She has always been very smart and very cute.

She only weighed 5 pounds when we first brought her home. She nows weighs 74.6 pounds. At one point when she was about 3 or 4, she had been overweight and weighed over 100 pounds.

Bristol weighs 76.6. We're not sure what Diesel weighs, but I think Presley is now the lightest of the three girls. Presley seems really skinny, especially in her waist. I've tried at times to give her a little more food, but sometimes she leaves some of it in her bowl.

This whole situation is so unfair. All I keep saying to Presley is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that she's had to go through all of this pain. But through it all, she is still smiling.

Not Good

We received some bad news today at Presley's doctor visit. The cancer appears to have spread to her other limbs and there are nodules in her chest.

The doctor showed us the x-rays and there are dark spots in the bone on her front right leg near her shoulder and on her rear left leg near her knee. The doctor also believes that the hard lumps near her left hip and thigh are also cancerous tumors. They are too hard to be just fatty tumors.

The x-rays also showed cloudiness and spots in her lungs compared to her chest x-rays taken in November.

The doctors and research all said that if we did not treat Presley with chemo after surgery that her life expectancy would be another 6 months on average. It's been almost 5 months since her surgery and the doctor thinks she may have another 3 to 4 weeks, based on what she's seen in other dogs.

Since Presley did so poorly on Deramaxx and Rhimadyl to treat pain, the doctor prescribed Tramadol with Pepcid AC. She also prescribed Medcam, as needed.

She also recommended that we consider Pamidronate Disodium I/V drip (a biophosphonate) because it could slow the growth of the tumors. The drip takes two hours per session to administer and they recommend doing this once a month. I'm leaning against this because everything we've tried with Presley has made her sick and I'm not sure she could take getting sick again.

They also took blood, which we'll have the results for that tomorrow. They want to check her kidney values in case we decide to go through with the drip.

The doctor mentioned that we could try acupuncture to treat the pain, but it didn't help before when we thought we were treating her for arthritis, so I can't imagine it would do any good now.

The crazy part about this is that Presley still eats really well and she still wants to play. Even today she played with a new ball we bought over the weekend.

No matter what, I just want to make sure she is comfortable. As long as she is eating, eliminating properly and enjoying life, then we'll keep treating the pain until something changes.

Sore Leg

Presley has been favoring her left rear leg lately. She's been at her Daddy's house this weekend and he called yesterday to let me know that he is very concerned. She has been hiding behind the chair and trying not to put any weight on her leg at all.

(However, he does let her up on the couch and he has been taking her for walks. She could be a little sore from all the activity.)

I made an appointment for tomorrow at 4PM at OVRS. We started to give Presley some Deramaxx to ease her pain, but that's not a good long-term solution. Last time it made her throw up and eventually she developed bloody stool.

She's still eating very well and wants to play. We just need to find out what is causing all this pain in her rear leg. She has two hard lumps there in her thigh and hip. Maybe those are the culprit and perhaps a bit of arthritis.

Snow Fun

This weekend we spent quite a bit of time outside playing in the snow and ice. The sun was shining so brightly, but it was a little deceiving. It was still really cold. But the girls didn't seem to notice.

Presley loves to eat the snow. I always joke to her, "Don't eat the yellow snow." I don't think she gets it.

Smile

At 6AM today, Scott picked me up from the airport after I took the red-eye from Seattle. As Scott loaded my bags into the back of the van, I snuck into the passenger seat. Just seconds after I climbed into the seat, I was attacked by three Rottweilers. It was the best homecoming!

I only have two hands, so I quickly patted, scratched and rubbed each head as the girls all tried to say hello at the same time.

After they settled down, Presley's face caught my eye because she had the biggest smile on her face. She was so happy to see me and her smile really showed it.

Moaning and Groaning

Presley has been waking me up in the middle of the night again by moaning, groaning and whining. I can't tell if she's in pain, has a tummy ache, bored, irritated, or what.

She doesn't hesitate to play with the other girls during the day and she's been eating well. She could be angry at me for being gone so much lately because of work. So when I am home, she wants me to spend all my time with her.

I like hanging out with her, but not at 2 or 4 in the morning. Mama needs her beauty sleep!

Teacher and student

I always suspected that Presley would be a good teacher, if ever given the right student. Today I think we saw an example of her influence. Today we left Bristol out of her crate twice while we ran errands and went out to grab a bite to eat. On both occasions, nothing was disturbed in the house.

Bristol is only 9 months and still likes to chew voraciously, but nothing was out of place... or destroyed.

We know Bristol didn't learn this exemplary behavior from Diesel. Over the years because of Diesel, we've lost two couches, pillows, eyeglasses, books, shoes, wood molding, doors, carpeting, and countless other material goods. Her separation anxiety still rears its ugly head every once in a while, so we have to Diesel-proof the house before going anywhere. We gave up on the crate long ago when she broke out of it.

Luckily Bristol seems to be taking after her biggest sister. Phew.

Bubble Bonanza!

Need I say more?

Love the snow!

Southeast Michigan is getting dumped on. At first it was raining, then sleet, and then came the snow. And it is still coming down.

Now whenever Presley sees snow, she thinks it's time to wrestle with the shovel. While I was eating dinner, she was very agitated and excited. I knew exactly what she was thinking. She wanted to go bark at the shovel. So I bundled up and into the snow we went.

Presley made a beeline for the shovel and knocked it off its peg near the porch. I tried to grab it from her, but then Diesel got a hold of it. Before I knew it, I had the handle and the girls had the head of the shovel. Then the head of the shovel popped right off. Presley and Diesel ran around the yard with it for a few minutes before I could finally get it away from them.

While I reattached the handle, Diesel took off to play with her ball, but Presley really wanted to get that shovel again. I let her bark and bite at it a few more times, then we all turned our attention to Diesel's ball.

Usually Diesel is pretty possessive over her ball, but somehow Presley was able to position herself over it, so Diesel backed off. Presley pushed the ball around with her front leg and her mouth, barking and growling with glee the whole time. I kicked it away a little, but she quickly huddled over it again, shielding it from the other girls.

Finally Diesel got her body over the ball, then picked it up and ran. So we all ran after her. Presley was able to keep right up with Diesel. Of course, Bristol wasn't far behind. Bristol doesn't really know why everyone is running or barking, but she doesn't care. She just does it because her big sisters are doing it.

Sometimes the girls get so loud with the barking when they play. I'm not sure what the neighbors think, but so far they haven't complained.

Bubbles

Presley gave me a wonderful birthday present tonight. When I went into the cupboard to get the girls a treat, I saw a bottle of liquid bubbles. After I blew a few bubbles in the living room, Diesel and Bristol tried to catch them. Then Presley realized what was going on and she was jumping as high as she could to catch them. It was great to see her so excited with a big smile on her face trying to catch those wily bubbles.

Where's the Hair?

It's been four months since Presley's surgery. Her fur has been slowly growing in, but she has several patches where the fur isn't growing back at all. Her skin looks very dry in these patches, almost mangy.

There are no lesions or crusting, so I don't really think it is mange. She doesn't seem to be bothered by these furless patches, but they do look kinda strange. She doesn't try to scratch these areas or rub up against them, so I don't think they are itchy. However, every once in awhile, her skin feels hotter or colder than other parts of her.

I just went into the bedroom to take a picture of her furless patches, but she's laying on that side and I'd hate to make her move. She looks very comfortable!

Clean Plate Club

Presley had a pretty good night's sleep except at 2AM she woke me up to go potty. From the window I could see her squatting all over the yard. She must have had to go pretty bad because she was out there for awhile. After that, she slept really well.

This morning, she was a member of the "clean plate club". At first she did not want to eat her breakfast (kibble). So I added a couple spoonfuls of canned food and she ate everything right up.

I'm not sure why one day she likes just kibble, then another day she wants canned food. Maybe she gets bored with her food.

Presley on Tripawds.com

I just received word from Tripawds.com that Presley has been included on their website. The dog featured on the tripawds site is named Jerry. His story is truly inspirational and comforting because it's great to see what the possibilities are when recovering from cancer.

On the site, Jerry's people (Jim & Rene) include health tips, photos, videos, resources and more. Because of this site, we purchased a harness for Presley, which has helped me to get her out of the Jeep, and down steep stairs, like at my mom's house.

You can check out the post at:

Presley's Story: One Milestone at a Time

Home Again!

After Steve dropped off Presley this afternoon, she initiated a mean game of fetch with her sisters. For about 30 minutes straight, she played fetch with one of the new balls that we bought on Thursday. She was the last one standing and outlasted both Diesel and Bristol. After a couple more tosses, they all conked out in the living room.

Unfortunately, the game did not stimulate her appetite because she barely ate any dinner. She ate a couple of bites of kibble out of Scott's hand but that was it. So she's not going to get anything for the rest of the night. Hopefully, she'll have a better appetite at breakfast time.

Steve said Presley did not sleep very well at night. She kept him up most of the night by moaning. He also mentioned that her rear left leg seems to be bothering her.

I'm really at a loss as to what to do with her. It's very strange that one minute she's outrunning her two younger sisters. Then she stays up all night moaning.

She's sleeping at my feet right now. In fact, my foot is resting on her torso as I type this. I'm so tempted to wake her up so she's tired at night. To be honest, it's been nice the last few nights to not get woken up and sleep through the night.

Spending Time With Daddy

Presley went to Steve's house last night. She'll be gone for a few nights to spend some quality time with Daddy.

The house definitely isn't the same without her. Diesel and Bristol don't seem to realize she is away but Scott and I bought them some new toys last night. So they have been very busy.

B-Day Message From Grammy

Below is a birthday message to Presley from Grammy:


HI PRESLEY,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE GREAT GRANDDAUGHTER.

HOPE YOU HAD YOUR FAVORITE MEAL AND BODY RUB.
LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. I WILL SEE YOU NEXT SUMMER,
JUST HANG IN THERE.

LOVE, GRAMMY

P.S. DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR AGE BECAUSE YOUR MOM
WILL BE ALMOST HALF WAY TO GRAMMY'S AGE NEXT MONTH.


Hah! Thanks for reminding me!

Happy 10th Birthday

Today is Presley's 10th birthday. Thankfully her leg seems to be feeling better.

This morning as I shoveled the back patio, Presley and Bristol barked at the shovel and Diesel played with her ball. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful morning. I also brushed each of them. Presley hasn't taken her Fish Oil supplements in weeks and she has started to shed again.

The girls have been playing and napping on and off all day. As I write this, Presley and Bristol are laying on the cushion in the living room and Diesel is at my feet. Presley keeps groaning and looking at me. I think she wants her birthday massage.

Bonding

Bristol has been sleeping with her big sister every night on Presley's bed. Bristol rarely sleeps in her own bed anymore. Presley seems to enjoy the company and she usually doesn't mind when Bristol lays on top of her legs or snuggles up to her backside. Maybe it's comforting to both of them to be so close.

Presley is doing a lot better today but it could be that the Deramaxx has kicked in. This morning she played outside with her sisters -- chasing after a toy and wrestling. Presley even initiated play with Bristol by jumping from one side to the other. On one hand I don't want her to do too much if her leg is sore, but she is having so much fun that I don't want to discourage her either.

I have to go to Chicago tonight for work. Before I leave I may give Presley another Deramaxx with her dinner. We'll see how she does this afternoon.

Leg Pain, Lumps

Presley's rear left leg is really bothering her. Today when I got home from running errands, all the girls went outside to go potty. When we all got into the house, Presley tried to lay down on the living room floor and began yelping. She looked like she was in a lot of pain and she looked scared.

I helped her stand up and she leaned against the couch holding up her left rear leg slightly. I then helped her into the bedroom so she could lay down on her cushy bed. She was very hesitant to lay down because something obviously hurts. She finally settled down without yelping. I gently rubbed her leg and felt two very hard lumps near her hip, which I don't remember feeling before. But she is so lumpy all over that I can't be sure they weren't there before.

I gave her a Deramaxx to ease the pain and a Pepcid to offset a possible upset stomach. For about 15 minutes, I kept petting her and talking to her until she fell asleep.

About a half hour ago I checked on her. She looked alert and comfortable, but she did not want to get out of bed so I didn't push her. All the girls are sleeping now but they are going to be up soon either because they are ready for dinner or because Scott will be home soon from work.

The Deramaxx made her really sick before, so this is not a long-term solution. We're probably going to have to take her to OVRS for x-rays and/or blood tests. I don't have a warm, fuzzy feeling about this.

Need to Sleep

I got home from Vegas last night and I am pretty wiped out. I was really looking forward to getting a good night's sleep but Presley had other plans. She was moaning constantly from 2AM until about 4AM.

Bristol was sleeping with her on her bed so I thought maybe Presley didn't want Bristol on there anymore. I noticed that Bristol was laying on Presley's left rear leg. When I slid Presley's leg out, she yelped. I moved Bristol totally off the bed and when Presley stood up to reposition herself, she yelped again. I thought maybe her leg was sore from Bristol laying on it.

About an hour later, I heard Presley yelp again as she repositioned herself on her bed. This happened one more time about 45 minutes later. Of course each time she yelped, Diesel and Bristol had to jump out of bed to see what was happening. So none of us got a good night's sleep.

Presley wouldn't eat any breakfast but during the day she was fine. She played with her sisters in the yard while I picked up poops. I also took all three of them for a walk together. During the walk at the turnaround point, Presley seemed to want to keep going but I kept it short in case her leg or foot is bothering her.

I told Scott about all of this and he mentioned that she had been moaning in the van on the way to the airport to pick me up. Maybe she just missed her Mama and wanted my attention, but that yelping has me worried. She's never done that before.

She just finished all of her dinner, which is a good sign. I hope tonight we can all get a better night's sleep!

Aunt Nikki to the Rescue

Greetings from Las Vegas. I'm out of town for work this week and Scott is working most of the week at Cobo for Auto Show. Luckily Scott's sister Nikki is able to go to the house to take care of the girls for a few hours each day. Presley and Diesel would be fine, but Bristol really can't be in her crate for more than 8 hours at a time.

I just talked to Nikki on the phone and she said the girls were taking a rest after playing and wrestling. When she first got there, at first they were all barking at each other and she wasn't sure what to do.

I told her if they look like they are agitated or if the barking is simply too much to bare, then she should stand right in front of them and tell them "no". In most cases, it's Presley who gets agitated by Diesel and Bristol while they are playing. So she may have to be stern with Presley and show her who's boss.

Earlier Nikki gave the girls some bones that I had stuffed with peanut butter and put in the freezer a couple days ago. I also added a little shot of Cheez Whiz, so they should be pretty tasty.

I am so relieved that Nikki could stop in each day to watch the girls. We looked into doggy daycare, but the hours did not mesh with Scott's work schedule. Plus, I'm not sure if it would have been too much for Presley. She doesn't like to play with other dogs too much.

Sisterly Love

Last night my sister Stephanie (visiting from L.A.), my sister Christine, and my dad came over for dinner. My sisters brought my mom's dog, Dakota, with them and she played with the girls the whole night, which wiped out all of the girls.

At bedtime, Presley and Diesel went to their beds but Bristol wanted to snuggle with Presley. So she curled up on the end of the bed and slept with her big sister. The bed is just big enough for Presley, so it was a pretty tight fit with the two of them on there. Presley was so tired that she didn't protest at all.

Then today I took the girls in the Jeep with me as I ran errands. The girls were still pretty tired from playing all night and within minutes they were all snoozing. The back of the Jeep is pretty tight with the three of them back there. Presley used Diesel as a pillow and Bristol used Presley as a pillow. So cute!

Happy New Year!

The girls were party animals last night. After dinner we danced to hits from the 80s. The girls each enjoyed a yummy rawhide treat from their Aunt Jen. Then at midnight we banged pots and pans on the porch. At about 1AM, Aunt Nikki and Uncle Mike packed up to head home and we all watched from the window as Mike brushed the snow off the car. Once again it was a winter wonderland.

This morning the girls were up at 6:30AM for breakfast. As soon as they finished, we all went right back to bed. I've taken Presley off of all her supplements. I'm just giving her dry food, a combo of her food and Diesel's, because she turns her nose up at anything else. Presley didn't eat all of her breakfast but she has had a bit of gas, I'm sure from the rawhide. At dinner she cleaned her plate.

The girls have taken quite a few naps today. Scott played with Diesel and Bristol outside while he shoveled. Presley was too tired so I petted her while she lounged on her bed. A little later I joined the girls for the late morning/early afternoon nap. I forgot how much I love to take power naps. I think those girls are on to something.

Later in the afternoon, the AT&T repairman had to fix the wire in front of our house. A branch had fallen overnight onto the wire and it was sagging terribly. The girls were having a field day barking at the repairman as they watched him from the front window. He was out front for about an hour and each time he moved to a new spot, they barked as if it were the first time they had seen him. Surprisingly, Presley was the worst offender. She did not like that man on our lawn.

Once again the girls are taking a nap. I'm sure they'll be up in the next hour or two for their last hurrah. We might have to shovel one more time tonight because it is snowing again.